SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (SHIT)

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to ensure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it is our policy to keep all employees well trained, through our Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We are trying to give our employees more SHIT than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of SHIT on the job, please see your Manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the SHIT list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the SHIT you can handle.

Employees who do not take their share of SHIT will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (DEEPSHIT). Those who fail to take DEEPSHIT seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (EATSHIT). Since your managers took SHIT before they were promoted, they do not have to do SHIT anymore because they are full of SHIT already.

If you, too, are full of SHIT, you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (BULLSHIT). Those who are full of BULLSHIT will get SHIT jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (DIPSHIT).

If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head of Training, Special High Intensity Training (HOTSHIT).

Thank you.
Signed,
Boss in General,
Special High Intensity Training.
(BIGSHIT)

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